two.

you have bad habits. don't worry, so do i. i'd like to think that on some level they give us character. i'm slighty disappointed we live in a culture where they are labeled "bad"(but in the list of reasons our culture disappoints me it is not high ranking...). i don't think they're all bad. this certainly doesn't mean that they are good or right, but i doubt anyone would be half as interesting without them.
i've got quite a few. i used to try to hide them or pretend they weren't mine by poking fun or putting on a brilliant show of appall. but out with them now, because we can't fight who we are, bad habits and all.
i chew gum like a smoker smokes cigarettes. sometimes i'm a pack and a half a day sort of girl, other days i can get by with a few sticks. i buy industrial size boxes and pray i don't run out before our next costco run, and heaven forbid if i have run out you can find me at the grocery checkout with shakey hands buying another pack to feed my addiction. despite never actually putting a cigarette to my lips, i happen to find cigarette smoking entirely too alluring for my own good. so maybe it's the gum keeping me from lighting up. i know with one cigarette i'd be hooked, and then my lungs and i might not end up on such great terms. ok, i know, asking for a piece of gum after a steamy love making session is no where near as sexy as asking for a light, but for me it's got to be chewing gum of the mint variety or else my life may be too consumed by menthol cigarettes for the marathon love making to happen. that's a sacrifice i'm just not willing to make.
most days you'll find me low key and makeup free, save for the occasional mascara. but i've got a secret vice, i make up for all those clean face days every once in awhile while i'm home alone. shhh don't tell, but between you and me- halloween came 2 days early this year. oh you'll think me so vain after spilling this one, and i'm slightly embarassed, but i've got a bad habit of sitting in front of the mirror and putting on as much makeup as i can. i'll make it fabulous, something that could give high fashion a run for its money. a few photographs and numerous poses later, i wash it all away and pretend it never happened. whoops.
ok here's a few more, just for thought. i eat way too much popcorn, i can down a whole bag by myself and still want more. i hate putting in new garbage bags, so i'll go out of my way to a trashcan across the house to avoid having to put a new one in. i will put off writing a paper til the day before its deadline, regardless of how much time i had to prepare or how long it has to be. i go barefoot as much as possible, even to the mexican food restaurant across the street which is highly illegal i'm sure. oh the list could go on, but class starts in 5, out like trout, more later

one.

i'm more the type to write things down properly. i love the way my hands look after they've become ink stained from hours of letting words flow out onto sheets and sheets of paper. i love coming across old notes scribbled onto scraps or cracking the spine of a long since filled journal. so i guess i should preface this all by saying that my computer keyboard is replacing my collection of hotel ballpoints only out of necessity.
you see, i've recently moved into my first house (well i'll call it mine as long as i'm sending rent checks...) and i'm learning the laws of co-dwelling with a friend whom i have known since we moved into the same town in fourth grade. it is complete bliss compared to the communal living with 16 strangers in the year past, however there is much more at stake knowing that the person with access to your written thoughts and rants and lyrics while you're not home was actually there at the time of their conception and will probably still be around long after the pages are filled. my memories are mine and hers are her own, there is no need to confuse the two. i hope she'd agree, so for the sake of privacy preservation and elimination of potential snooping by the influx of friendly visitors i'm taking to the keys! if you are inclined to snoop me here, well that's ok too. i just hope you won't be the only one.
my other guilty admission is that i'm using you, well not you per say, but this as a catalyst to hopefully motivate myself. i haven't had the wherewithal to write anything lately. it's so much easier to properly capture life when i've got legit complaints and teenage angst fledged by suburban boredom. how can i possibly capture THIS right now. life is too magnificent, too unpredictable, too glorious, too fucking fantastic to encapsulate with undeserving words. blank pages were just taunting, testing, pushy like big kids on the opposite side of a game of red rover . i'd have to be awfully crafty to get myself through. i don't believe in white out or rip outs, so how could i possibly explain how fulfilled my soul is with crosswords, running with the tide on my feet, painting canvas, being in love with my best friend, attempting to keep my dying plants alive, commuting with a view, singing my favorite songs, and all the other silly seemingly trivial things that make my every day. i can't yet, but i'll keep working on it. :)