one.

i'm more the type to write things down properly. i love the way my hands look after they've become ink stained from hours of letting words flow out onto sheets and sheets of paper. i love coming across old notes scribbled onto scraps or cracking the spine of a long since filled journal. so i guess i should preface this all by saying that my computer keyboard is replacing my collection of hotel ballpoints only out of necessity.
you see, i've recently moved into my first house (well i'll call it mine as long as i'm sending rent checks...) and i'm learning the laws of co-dwelling with a friend whom i have known since we moved into the same town in fourth grade. it is complete bliss compared to the communal living with 16 strangers in the year past, however there is much more at stake knowing that the person with access to your written thoughts and rants and lyrics while you're not home was actually there at the time of their conception and will probably still be around long after the pages are filled. my memories are mine and hers are her own, there is no need to confuse the two. i hope she'd agree, so for the sake of privacy preservation and elimination of potential snooping by the influx of friendly visitors i'm taking to the keys! if you are inclined to snoop me here, well that's ok too. i just hope you won't be the only one.
my other guilty admission is that i'm using you, well not you per say, but this as a catalyst to hopefully motivate myself. i haven't had the wherewithal to write anything lately. it's so much easier to properly capture life when i've got legit complaints and teenage angst fledged by suburban boredom. how can i possibly capture THIS right now. life is too magnificent, too unpredictable, too glorious, too fucking fantastic to encapsulate with undeserving words. blank pages were just taunting, testing, pushy like big kids on the opposite side of a game of red rover . i'd have to be awfully crafty to get myself through. i don't believe in white out or rip outs, so how could i possibly explain how fulfilled my soul is with crosswords, running with the tide on my feet, painting canvas, being in love with my best friend, attempting to keep my dying plants alive, commuting with a view, singing my favorite songs, and all the other silly seemingly trivial things that make my every day. i can't yet, but i'll keep working on it. :)